The Truth-Day 6: Something You Hope You Never Have to Do

What I've hoped to never have to do, I have had to do this past week. My 14 week old unborn baby went to be with Jesus a week ago, and this is something I literally did not think would happen to me because I figured that God thought I wouldn't be able to handle something like that. I've proven myself wrong in the last couple of days, and so has God. With His strength I have found the will to move on and the ability to find comfort in the peace only He can give. My heart and mind are at ease knowing my little one is with Him - safe and sound - and one day, I will get to wrap him/her in my arms.

What I hope to never have to do? To never go through this again. Though the healing has been faster with each day, the pain and the emptiness is still there, lingering at the bottom of my heart. I know God will deal with that as well, but the grieving process itself is harder than anything I've ever had to go through. I get a lump in my throat walking by the baby section at Walmart, or seeing someone else's ultra-sound pictures... not because I resent them for carrying their baby longer than I did, but because I wish I could have as well.

There are a lot of things I hope I never have to do in my lifetime, but that is the main one. I would most likely bore you to tears if I proceeded to list all of the things I hope I never have to do.

The Truth-Day 5: Something You Hope to do in Your Life

Oh, I hope to do a lot of things! I have the imagination of a child, therefore I dream big. Sometimes I feel like I get way too ahead of myself because I think I can do anything - but my Bible says that I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength. The possibilities are endless! I'm the kind of person who wants to change the world. I wish I could somehow bring common sense back into this country, give people an example of what it truly means to love and be loved, and show others the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ - not the religion they are used to seeing in most churches. Now, I am not the president or anything, so influencing EVERYONE in the world would be a huge task, but I can start from where I'm at.

My main wish is to use my gifts and talents for His glory. I hope to one day sell my drawings, record music, and write a book. I hope to set an example for this generation and the one to come. I hope to be a light to anyone and everyone. I hope to be everything He created me to be and do everything He created me to do! Simple as that! :)

The Truth-Day 4: Something You Have to Forgive Someone Else For

As I think really hard about this writing topic... I can honestly say I don't have any unforgiveness towards anyone. I used to hold grudges because I thought it would make me feel better. But I've learned that forgiveness not only frees the person who has wronged you, but it frees YOU. No matter how much people try to deny it, having the desire to plot revenge towards someone is not a good feeling. "Two wrongs don't make a right..." ..."Fire with fire just makes a bigger fire..." both are true. When you answer cursing with kindness, you get a much better outcome than doing the same thing someone else did to you. It just doesn't accomplish anything. That's why I don't understand how people can hold unforgiveness towards someone, especially for a long period of time. It slowly but surely kills you inside.

I have recently had to forgive a lot of people - people that I'm close to (or thought I was close to) and I love with all my heart. I feel a new sense of freedom, and a new love for these particular people. Jesus talks so much about the importance of love and forgiveness, and if only we, meaning the body of Christ, took these things more seriously. I struggle with it myself, until I realize that hatred and unforgiveness have no reward in the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Truth - Day 3: Something You Have to Forgive Yourself For

I'm pretty sure I've forgiven myself for most everything I've done wrong in my life. Even if I haven't, I've asked God to forgive me and in my opinion, that's enough. I haven't seen where it says to forgive yourself in the Bible. But in some cases I do it anyways so that I don't beat myself up for the mistakes I've made.

In saying that, I have to forgive myself on a weekly basis. I'm always going to make mistakes and disappoint people. Not that I enjoy disappointing people - in fact, I hate it more than anything else. I've heard that it is common for the eldest child to be a perfectionist. In my case, this is true. I expect more out of myself than I do anyone else and when I don't meet up to my own expectations, I come down pretty hard on myself. It makes me happy when I can make others happy, so when I make others upset or disappointed, I get such a yucky feeling inside - like I just want to crawl in a hole and not come out until they're happy again. And even though I know people I've disappointed have forgiven me, I still find myself thinking "I can't believe I did that" or "Why did I say that?"

Other than that, there is nothing in particular that I need to forgive myself for. I just need to realize that He will always love me and no matter how many mistakes I make, He will never leave me or forsake me.

The Truth-Day 2: Something You Love About Yourself

I wouldn't exactly say "I love myself." I respect myself and I know I'm worth something; I'm obviously worth dying for, because Jesus died for me! But I do not like or love myself - I love the God in me (the Spirit.) I would be nothing without God. Without God I would be selfish, inconsiderate, hypocritical, and very angry. It's because of His love and His Spirit within me that I am not those things - at least 90% of the time.
Here are some things I can think of off the top of my head that I'm thankful God has given me:

• Discernment. I'm usually pretty good at descerning whether something is good or bad. I've made mistakes, obviously, but most of the time I know a wise decision from a foolish one, and a trustworthy person from a non-trustworthy person. I have been told that I have a very sensitive Spirit, and that it's a good thing.
• Lovingness/Kindness. I have a love for everyone, whether I've met them or not. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I need to love my neighbors as myself (Mark 12:31). The word "neighbor" to me doesn't just refer to people who live near me. It means everyone. Because God created everyone, we are all brothers and sisters. Not all people believe this, but I do, therefore I love everybody as my brother or sister.
• My talents. I get complimented a lot on my talents. I don't like to call them mine, because they came from God, but I guess they are mine because it is my decision to use them or not. Growing up, I always thought my only talent was drawing. Singing has always been (and kind of still is) a hidden talent of mine. I'm extremely shy, so I don't exactly prefer to sing in front of certain people. I have come out of my box a lot though since I've been married to someone who loves my singing. I also write, whether it's journaling, blogging, songwriting, and sometimes even poetry (although most of my poems turn into songs. What can I say? I love music!) I suppose scrapbooking could be considered another talent, but to me it's more of a hobby. Whether they are hobbies or talents - I plan on using them for His glory.
• My husband. Other than my God and Savior, my husband is the best thing about me. He makes me a better person and inspires me more than anyone else. I don't consider him my "other half", he is my other whole. God makes us both complete, so we are two wholes coming together in one body and spirit (Genesis 2:24). Because we are one, my positive characteristics are doubled because he has the same positive characteristics, and even more.

Here is a good closing statement: "We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them." -1 John 4:16 NLT