The Truth-Day 8: Someone Who Made your Life Hell, or Treated you Like Garbage

Nobody "made my life hell." If they did, it's because I let them. I was never abused in any kind of way, my parents stayed together, I had everything I needed.. for the most part, I was always a pretty happy person. I started becoming more and more unhappy once I went into middle-school. At that time, my family of five was living in a 2 bedroom apartment. I had no purpose, nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to, and didn't know where I was going or where I wanted to end up in life. I hated school - everything about it - except for my friends. My friends were the only reason I even went to school when I did. Because I hated it so much, I skipped school on a regular basis. My attendance record was obviously very poor, which made teachers concerned, which lead to me having to speak with the school counselor AND the dean. At one point, I was threatened with Juvi, and I was seeing an after-school counselor. I didn't have good grades in school only because I didn't do my homework. Teachers and school made me feel stupid or not smart, because of my grades. I understood most everything I was being taught, I just didn't do my homework. I'm not sure why...I just didn't. Those three years of middle-school could be deemed as "hell," but it wasn't because of any one person in particular. Most of it was probably my own fault.

Likewise, nobody has treated me like garbage. I have been treated poorly before - actually even by my husband, before we got married. But I've moved on, and I don't think about the times I was treated like "garbage." Sometimes, I treat myself like garbage. At some point, we are all going to be treated unfairly, but that's why God gave us love and forgiveness. That's why He gave us the strength to stand up under those situations and be the better person. Whether I'm being treated like garbage or not, I know the One person who will never treat me like that and loves me with all of His heart. :)

The Truth-Day 7: Someone Who Has Made Your Life Worth Living For

This is an easy topic. Jesus and my husband! I had no meaning or purpose in life until Jesus found me. He taught me to love, forgive, be kind, and see myself as someone worthy and accepted. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for Him. And I never would have met my amazing husband if it wasn't for Him! Karl also brought meaning and purpose into my life. He makes me feel like I'm on top of the world; like I can do anything. The way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, the way he hugs and kisses me...I've never felt so loved and special. He waited for me for nearly four years, and now treats me like a queen. He treated me like one before we got married, from 1,200 miles away!

I am so blessed. The most blessed woman in the world. These two things are the reason I wake up in the morning - I could not live without either one of them.

The Truth-Day 6: Something You Hope You Never Have to Do

What I've hoped to never have to do, I have had to do this past week. My 14 week old unborn baby went to be with Jesus a week ago, and this is something I literally did not think would happen to me because I figured that God thought I wouldn't be able to handle something like that. I've proven myself wrong in the last couple of days, and so has God. With His strength I have found the will to move on and the ability to find comfort in the peace only He can give. My heart and mind are at ease knowing my little one is with Him - safe and sound - and one day, I will get to wrap him/her in my arms.

What I hope to never have to do? To never go through this again. Though the healing has been faster with each day, the pain and the emptiness is still there, lingering at the bottom of my heart. I know God will deal with that as well, but the grieving process itself is harder than anything I've ever had to go through. I get a lump in my throat walking by the baby section at Walmart, or seeing someone else's ultra-sound pictures... not because I resent them for carrying their baby longer than I did, but because I wish I could have as well.

There are a lot of things I hope I never have to do in my lifetime, but that is the main one. I would most likely bore you to tears if I proceeded to list all of the things I hope I never have to do.

The Truth-Day 5: Something You Hope to do in Your Life

Oh, I hope to do a lot of things! I have the imagination of a child, therefore I dream big. Sometimes I feel like I get way too ahead of myself because I think I can do anything - but my Bible says that I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength. The possibilities are endless! I'm the kind of person who wants to change the world. I wish I could somehow bring common sense back into this country, give people an example of what it truly means to love and be loved, and show others the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ - not the religion they are used to seeing in most churches. Now, I am not the president or anything, so influencing EVERYONE in the world would be a huge task, but I can start from where I'm at.

My main wish is to use my gifts and talents for His glory. I hope to one day sell my drawings, record music, and write a book. I hope to set an example for this generation and the one to come. I hope to be a light to anyone and everyone. I hope to be everything He created me to be and do everything He created me to do! Simple as that! :)

The Truth-Day 4: Something You Have to Forgive Someone Else For

As I think really hard about this writing topic... I can honestly say I don't have any unforgiveness towards anyone. I used to hold grudges because I thought it would make me feel better. But I've learned that forgiveness not only frees the person who has wronged you, but it frees YOU. No matter how much people try to deny it, having the desire to plot revenge towards someone is not a good feeling. "Two wrongs don't make a right..." ..."Fire with fire just makes a bigger fire..." both are true. When you answer cursing with kindness, you get a much better outcome than doing the same thing someone else did to you. It just doesn't accomplish anything. That's why I don't understand how people can hold unforgiveness towards someone, especially for a long period of time. It slowly but surely kills you inside.

I have recently had to forgive a lot of people - people that I'm close to (or thought I was close to) and I love with all my heart. I feel a new sense of freedom, and a new love for these particular people. Jesus talks so much about the importance of love and forgiveness, and if only we, meaning the body of Christ, took these things more seriously. I struggle with it myself, until I realize that hatred and unforgiveness have no reward in the Kingdom of Heaven.