Being Tested...Sucks.

I hate this feeling. I don't want to write any songs or poems. I don't want to draw. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm cranky. Everything ticks me off. I'm clumsy. I'm speechless. Music can't even cheer me up. I feel like crying, but don't see any point in doing so. I'm tired of crying. All it does is make me tired, and then I wake up the next morning only to see how puffy & swollen my eyes are.
I just can't stand being away from him. I don't have any other choice right now, but does that make me feel any better? No, if anything it makes me feel worse. I knew that once I wrote a long sermon about faith, my faith was going to be tested and I'd end up looking like a hypocrite. Well I guess I don't HAVE to look like one - I was preaching to myself as much as I was anyone else. I know having faith is easier said than done - but I also know in the end it will be worth it. My faith in God paid off a year ago when He brought Karl back home and back to me. Having faith that we're gonna be married any time soon? People think I'm crazy (although I personally don't give a hoot.) Getting married before 18 is unheard of nowadays, and that really makes me mad because because some 14 year olds are more mature than 18 year olds. Partying, drinking, getting high and having sex with people you don't even know and potentially ending up (or getting a girl) pregnant and/or with an STD... yeah, real mature.
Sorry, had to get in a little vent session before I went on.
Anyways, I know faith is important, but before I do anything, I need to keep in mind that faith is not THE most important priority. 1 Corinthians 13:13 says, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." So although faith is valuable, love is the most valuable, and God wants us to love before we have a mountain-moving faith.
I feel a lot better already - just before I quoted 1 Corinthians 13:13, I was going to open the Bible so I could quote that verse word for word. Once I opened the Bible, the very first page I flipped to was 1 Corinthians 13! And just a few minutes before that, I had the radio on and it played the song Stand in the Rain by Superchic[k], which explained exactly how I was feeling. Amazing how God wants our undivided attention and wants us to come to Him with our struggles & burdens =)

The Power of Faith

So someone asked me an interesting question the other day on Formspring... and it really made me think. To some, it may sound like the most simple question to answer - I thought it was, too.

The question?: "What reason is there to have faith in God?"

My first initial reaction was, "Oh that's an easy one," but once my fingers hit the keyboard, my mind went blank. Only one scripture in the Bible popped into my brain - and that was Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." But then I thought Okay, so that explains what faith is, but not the reason to have faith.

So, what is the reason to have faith in God?

Faith is highly favored in God's eyes - in fact Jesus says in Matthew 17:20, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Anything and everything is possible when you have faith. There are many stories that tell us what faith can do and how important it is - here's a short one found in Matthew chapter 9, starting at verse 27:

"As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!" 28When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he askd them, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?"

"Yes, Lord," they replied.

29Then he touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith will it be done to you"; 30and their sight was restored.

Not only does that tell us how powerful and compassionate Jesus is, but it also gives us a wonderful example of what faith can really do, such as heal the blind. What good is our life here on earth if all we do is doubt? Peter learns this lesson in chapter 14 (of Matthew also) when he wanted to walk on the water with Jesus. He had the faith to get out of the boat and onto the water, but once he looked around at the waves and the wind, doubt kicked in and he began to sink. When Jesus caught him, he said, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Faith isn't something we should take lightly. It has the power to give us our deepest desires. Don't make the mistake of relying on your faith - having faith doesn't mean you're depending on it, no, you're depending on God. Having faith is trusting God and knowing He is able to do all things.

"Being sure of what we hope for" - what does that mean? It means we're believing in what's unseen. Christians know that God exists because of their faith. They can't physically see Him, but they know He's there. Hope is the first step to having faith. When we hope for something, we're anxious to see if what we were hoping for will come true. Romans 8:24 says, "But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?"

Do we hope for things we already know is going to happen? Do we wake up in the morning and say, "I hope I'm going to eat breakfast"? On the contrary - having faith is knowing that what we hope for is going to come true. I don't literally see Karl and I getting married at this very moment, but I know it's going to happen. Don't underestimate God - He's a huge God, therefore He performs huge miracles. All it takes is faith.

A Vicious World

It's a harsh world out there... but the good thing is, is that God is in control of it. He may not control people and/or their actions, but He is Ruler over all the earth.

I've learned to just not care what others think of me, or the things I do, or the decisions I make. As long as I'm following His path and doing what He tells me to do, no one has the right to tell me that what I'm doing isn't "right" or however else they may put it. Sometimes it goes back to the ole "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it." If I take anyone's opinion, it will be from someone who actually knows me.

I guess the thing that really baffles me is how cruel people can be. Whether it's words or actions, trying to be funny or harshly opposing one's point of view - regardless, it's sick, and quite saddening. All I can think of is when Jesus said to "Love your neighbor as yourself" - century after century, we've gotten worse and worse at this. The hatred is unreal, and we can never seem to learn the concept of Agreeing to Disagree.

I've come to this conclusion: As the world continues to push God away, shun Him out of our lives and claim we don't need Him, we lose the ability to love, because God IS love. True love comes from God. 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because He first loved us." Without Him, we can't love, at least not the way we should. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us exactly what true love is, and how God wants us to love, it's simple: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily-angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

The sad thing is, only few people know how to love like this...