Something to Keep in Mind

I'm still in the process of healing, but it's coming along a lot easier now more than ever. There's a verse in the Bible, Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". Karl's mom and I have been discussing that, and it totally makes sense. Think about it, in hard times, your "understanding" will tell you that there's no hope and you will suffer, but if you trust in the Lord, He will reward you for that. God is the one that gave us life, He created us, so how can we not trust Him? We trust our parents, and friends and family, but do we trust God at all times? Can we trust that He has everything under control? We trust people who will/can let us down, but we don't always trust God who will never let us down. Our understandings could deceive us and lead us astray because we're not leaning on God, and if you're not leaning on the one who made you and has your life already planned out, then what else do you lean on and depend on? From my understanding, there is no future for Karl and I together, there is no way of him and I being together again, and there is no hope for him and/or I to change.. But if I trust in the Lord and not my understanding, things will fall into place. God is a gracious and merciful God, He wants to see us succeed in life. So don't be down, don't be negative, don't have discouraging thoughts, keep your faith and relationship strong in the Lord and trust Him with all your life. He will reward you for it =)

Ring

Soo.. After Karl and I broke up, I was having difficulties with trusting God and always wondering when or if I would ever find true love again. Well, my answer is this - God is love. I heard this saying: "A woman must be so lost in God that a man must seek Him to find her".. and that's so true. I want to be so lost in God that a man must find Him before he can get to me. I don't know of any greater love than the love Jesus has to offer. I mean, he suffered and went through absolute torture and even gave up his life on the cross so that we could be with Him for eternity and have all of our sins be forgiven. If that's not love, than I don't know what it is!

ANYWAYS - I decided that I wanted to get *something* that would always remind me what Love is and that God is always with me.. so I thought maybe if I got a ring that had a Bible verse or something on it, it would help me remember that God is always wrapped around my finger. And this ring totally fits that purpose:

Grand Slam Boy

Well.. things didn't work out with Grant and I, and it's mostly because of me. The other night I just got this weird vibe that I shouldn't go on a "date" with him, and I wasn't just going to ignore that vibe. I also realized that truth is, I'm not completely over Karl yet. I'm still torn up about us breaking up, and I'm not ready to get into all that stuff again . So I texted Grant and I told him that I just didn't think it was a good idea if we went on a date. He agreed, and now I feel guilty but I also feel like I was being obedient to God so.. I'm just waiting to see what He has in store for me. I also have plenty of time before I need to start worrying about boyfriends and who I'm gonna marry, right now I just want to have fun and enjoy my life the way it is.

Grand Slam

So Grand Slam was a blast.. we played mini-golf, bumper cars, laser tag, and played games in the arcade. We had a ton of fun and I really came out of my shell. Usually when I'm around a crowd, I'm very shy and I keep things to myself, but at Grand Slam, I really opened up and I was so... out there. I wasn't afraid to be myself. And because of that.... I met a sweet, funny, good-looking guy. His name is Grant, and we met when we were in Laser Tag (lol). First he asked us (me and Erica) what school we went to, and I told him I was home-schooled. It wasn't until Laser Tag was over when I saw him again in Bumper Cars, and then the arcade, and then after that, Erica and I sat down and Grant and his friends came over and sat with us. We talked and Grant asked me a load of questions about home-schooling. Then we went back to the arcade, sat down again, and Erica and I had a bunch of tokens that we weren't gonna use, so we gave them to Grant and his friends (to which in return, he gave me a bouncy ball and one of his

friends gave Erica one too, lol). Then about 15 minutes after giving them tokens and tickets, we met again near the entrance of the building (we were waiting for my mom to pick us up), and that's when Grant asked me what my name was, and gave me his number! *Screams!* He told me his "name" but he was joking around and I didn't have the time to fight with him about what his real name was because my mom had arrived. He told me his name was Tyrome, but the next morning, I texted him and he told me his real name. Grant (lol). And now, him and I are talking about going to a movie this weekend. It was a night I will never forget, and the most fun I've had in a very long time. It also helped that Erica and I went to the mall before we went to Grand Slam, and that's always a plus ;-)

Little Updates

Well, Karl's birthday was on Friday, so I talked to him after going about 3 weeks without talking to him. I mailed him a $10 giftcard to Applebees - that was his birthday present. He told me he appreciated it and that I "didn't have to get him anything".. we actually had a good conversation. He confessed that he missed me, and of course I feel the same way, but we both agreed that this is where we need to be right now. I wish I could tell him how I really feel, (but I really do think we should just be friends, this is in regards to something else) but 1.) I'd probably gradually start yelling at him at the top of my lungs and 2.) I told God I was leaving it in His hands. Letting go is hard...

Okay now for some non-ex-boyfriend talk.. This Saturday I'm going to a place called Grand Slam for my best friend Erica's birthday. I'm phsyced and it's just gonna be me and her, so we'll have some good quality time together while having a lot of fun! It has laser tag, miniature golf, batting cages, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't remember at the moment. Check it out: http://www.grandslammn.com/

That's all I know - nothing else interesting is going on in my life. Weather is beautiful, hopefully it will stay that way so we can start our garden. For Minnesota, this time of year is early for it to be in the 60s and 70s but I'm definitely not complaining!

GPS=God's Path to Success

One of my dear friends shared something with me a few months ago about how his pastor had described God to be like a GPS. And here's why: On a GPS in your car, it leads you to your destination, and if you take a wrong turn, it calculates another road you can take so that you can still get to your destination. God has a main purpose for all of us, and if we accidentally take a wrong turn, He reveals to you a knew road so that you can still get to where He wants you to be. I've taken a lot of wrong steps in my life and those roads led AWAY from God, instead of TO Him. We need to take our steps carefully because our faith will be tested, and our hearts can be deceived. So we need to make sure we're being led by God, not by the devil. It's a dangerous world out there but God can get us through it and take us to a place beyond thoughts that are filled with Love and Mercy. He can turn your dreams into reality, we just need to trust Him

Power of Prayer

I've been talking back and forth with Karl's mom, and we've been discussing the amazing power of prayer. Many people get upset with God because He doesn't answer our prayers right away or the way we want Him to. Believe me, I've been there, and I know how hard it is to be patient. But throughout this whole situation, that's all I can do, is wait. Who am I to rush God? After all, His timing and plans will work better than mine, and the patience will pay off in the long run.

I've also learned that you can't pray one thing, and say another thing. You can't say, "Lord, I want you to bless them", and then outside of prayer, say bad things about them and deep inside, you really don't want them to be blessed. If you think about it, that's almost like lying to God. If you don't want that, don't ask God for it, you need to want it, first.

Prayer works in amazing ways, especially if you use it frequently. Just the other day, my mom, my siblings and I were going over to a friend's house which was about 30 minutes away, and we'd only been there once before. My mom didn't have directions on how to get there - instead she went by memory. She got to a point where she didn't remember what turn she was supposed to take next, so I asked Jesus to lead us the right way and right then, my mom said she remembered where she was supposed to go. So because of Jesus, we got to our destination. He always gives us direction, but sometimes that takes patience. Take it from someone who knows, and has been going through it for the past month ;-)